My next guest was neither an important nor a worthy opponent: he was a minor city bureaucrat who was delaying planning permission on a valuable (and incidentally completely legal) project of mine. He seemed to be under the impression that just because I sometimes indulged in less than reputable practices, he deserved a bribe.

He was wrong, of course. I do my best to keep my clean projects as clean as possible. Also, I don't indulge in graft - paying people to do their jobs sets a bad precedent and inflates prices for when a bribe is actually necessary. I've learned through long trial and error, however, that most such people are more interested in the sense of importance it gives them than the money; letting them come to a private meeting and posture at me for awhile until I inform them of what they are going to do for me tends to be the most efficient investment of time.

Even if it's incredibly tedious. Particularly this person, as he had the special talent of making even urban planning and zoning seem boring.

(Hendricks informs me that most people reading this will assume the above was meant sarcastically, and I should clarify that I usually find zoning and planning fascinating; the amount of power exercised, the lives that can be changed just by altering some letters on a map... and if you don't believe me, ask Gard to tell you about the Landn&aacute;ms&ouml;ld sometime.)